I heard a commercial on the radio this a.m. advertising patio furniture. The narrator mentioned that the name-brand furniture was crafted from “hand-woven wicker.” That perked my ears and made me wonder if that remark was really just code for: “Made in a sweatshop by Sri Lankan children.”

The other day, I saw a fast-food sign offering “center-cut” chicken breast wraps. Mmm, I thought — that sounds pretty good. Then, I realized — doesn’t “center-cut” just mean half of a chicken breast? The wrap didn’t sound so unique, after all.

I read a funny (though in an ironically frightening way) comic in this week’s Chronicle of Higher Ed. A waiter was taking a customer’s order and asked if he’d like his steak with broad-spectrum antibiotic additives or the special protein-boosted option. Eww. I’ll just take the center-cut chicken breast … or, better yet, give me the eggplant, please.