Some of the most poignant moments of this horrible and astonishing journey these past 7 ½ weeks have been the stories that other people have confided in me: accounts of tragic loss, sometimes relatively expected, yet always life-changing.

People I’ve known for years professionally have opened up to tell me personal stories about losing a sibling or other close family member – sometimes decades ago as a child. Yesterday, someone I dearly respect and regard as a mentor shared some details about a father’s struggle with alcoholism and how the addiction ultimately killed him. It is easy to lapse into a circumstantial perspective when you are dealing with an addict – their good days translate into your good days … their bad days seem to bleed the life out of your happiness. How true that is, and what a trap we allow ourselves to be ensnared within!

I have tried to be better about praying for someone in particular – someone whose poor decisions, shady past, erratic behavior and addictive patterns make it very, very easy to dislike her. When she is agreeable, I can actually feel my stress level decline. When she acts combative, my internal defenses arm themselves. It is a battle to pray for her, yet I know I must … and my prayers need to be sincere. Sometimes, I don’t know how to pray at all and just repeat back to God qualities of himself – that he is just, righteous, worthy of my praise, his mercies are new every morning, and he is not the author of confusion.

Ironically, our small group study this week from Stormie Omartian’s book, “7 Prayers That Will Change Your Life Forever” was on the topic of Submission [to God’s will], and a key emphasis in the chapter was not letting circumstances steer our hearts; rather, trust God. Ouch! The author made reference to accepting Christ into the home of her heart and offering him the guest room. That is the polite thing to do, right? Well, no … not if he is to be Lord of your whole life. Persistently, Jesus knocked on other doors, and slowly she began to open those unseemly areas of her life to his will.

This chapter made me think about all the times I’ve prayed, “God, I trust you, but …”

Whatever the “but …” happens to be, I have to confess it and remember that my hope/rest/security is in Christ alone.