There were at least two or three songs at church this morning on the theme of “waiting.” I don’t know about you, but waiting is not my strong suit; I’d rather being *doing* and seeing results.

I enjoy writing because it’s concrete and allows me to see my thoughts unfolding, literally. I love my job, and one of the biggest things I enjoy about it is seeing the tangible results of my efforts on paper. I have fun building virtual objects in Second Life because I can take ideas from my head and create them right before my eyes! I love being a parent and witnessing those “lightbulb moments” in my boys’ lives. I like working with tools (shhh – don’t tell my husb, or he’ll never volunteer to fix anything ever again! lol) because I have the satisfaction of seeing something broken become workable again.

Waiting … for the unknown, for the seemingly inevitable Murphy’s Law, for God’s sweeping intervention, for things to happen out of my control, to have to rely on someone else’s decision-making … is much more difficult.

We planted a garden this weekend — actually, two gardens — a vegetable garden in the backyard and a flower garden in the front yard. As we were reading the seed packets to learn how long each plant would take to mature, we noticed that they varied dramatically. To the unseasoned gardener like myself, I couldn’t tell one seed from another, much less be able to guess which ones would mature first.

Aren’t my trials like that?? I look at how lonnnnng things seem to be taking to resolve after my brother’s death, and it seems like eons, yet tomorrow will only be two months. There are things I want to fix, push along, get moving, take care of … yet, they are out of my control. Just as I am completely and utterly incapable of making plants grow, I have to wait and watch expectantly as other areas in my life take root and mature.

(There’s a sermon in there somewhere!) I can’t force the plants to grow, but if I neglect to water and fertilize them, I can be sure to thwart their growth or kill them all together. Ouch! Does that mean that I have to continue praying for this person I don’t like WHILE I wait for God to develop in me wisdom, maturity and a forgiving spirit? I have to admit, I think the answer is a resounding Yes.