I read a post on friend’s Facebook wall recently about a Yahoo group called MOMYS. It stands for Mothers Of Many Young Siblings. I thought: Cool! Maybe I’ll find some sanity-keeping resources or meet some other lady friends. I went to the group site and was disappointed to find not much more than a recipe for Amish Friendship Bread and homeschool links. Please don’t get me wrong – I’ve got absolutely nothing against homeschooling, and I like baked goods from scratch just as much as the next gal.

The fact is, my kids attend public school and are not hardened criminals, and I feed my family store-bought bread (albeit, I usually get whole grain) and everyone is quite healthy. (I did make muffins for breakfast this morning – gasp! – from a mix!)

It’s just that I went to that group site hoping to find a connection and left feeling isolated.

I started thinking about other women executives and professionals I know. A few have one or two grown children, a couple of them have no children, a couple have one or two high schoolers &/or middle schoolers. A few have just one young child. I read once that women in my demographic are grossly underrepresented in politics, not because they don’t want to be engaged, but because family commitments dissuade them from running for office. Come to think of it, I cannot think of a single woman in my sphere of influence with a gaggle (more than three?) of young children who works full-time outside the home.

Let me say upfront that I positively love my job. I feel like my education, skills and previous work experience have culminated into this career path, and I really believe that I’m contributing something useful to the world by doing what I do. I’m not trying to sound silly; I honestly do love my job. Even if I could afford to stay at home full-time, I wouldn’t choose to do so. I think that’s what sets me apart from MOMYS. I know that my kids are still being loved and cared for even when we’re apart for several hours during the day (and no, I don’t feel like the daycare or school is “raising” them … that’s such a misnomer. The daycare – a good one, at least – should reinforce and supplement what they’re being trained at home, and parents should know what their kids are being taught in school and encourage lifelong individual learning.)

To be totally honest, I think they get a better quality of “me” in the mornings and late afternoon/evenings than they would if we were together all day. Going to the office and focusing on my work sort of serves as necessary alone time for me.

One thing I do wish I had is a female mentor – someone who has walked along this path, even if she’s only a few steps ahead. I know it’s unrealistic to find someone who is in my exact situation; besides, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. (Granted, if it weren’t for my mom and dear friends, I don’t know what I’d do. My mom would – and did! – take on the full-time responsibility for my nephews, but it would be ludicrous to ask that of her permanently. We do make a good team, and I’m eternally grateful.)

Surely, though, there’s another woman out there who is balancing work/life with several children in her care. It doesn’t do me any good for one more person to shake their head and tell me with pity in their voice, “I don’t know how you do it.” I know they mean well, but sometimes I don’t know how I do it! *smacks forehead: Thanks for the reminder! I just do – one day at a time. It just would be nice to know that I’m not alone.