Prejudice is, in essence, pre-judging someone or something. Last year, I was asked to participate in the Campus Diversity Committee at the university where I work, and this year, I was asked to chair the committee. I hope that I am doing a good job; there is still much to learn. Interestingly, the past few months of having all of the boys under one roof has opened my eyes in a way that I hadn’t expected: I’ve become much more aware of prejudice.

There’s this certain look that people give me when I have five boys in tow. I’ve seen The Look at the grocery store, at Wal-Mart, the movie theatre … just about everywhere. I haven’t seen The Look at church, which I think largely speaks to the familial atmosphere at Crossroads, in general, but also b/c most everyone knows our story, anyway.

The Look says several things:

• When the eyebrows are raised and the eyes are round like saucers, The Look says: “Oh. My. God. Doesn’t that woman know what birth control is?!”
• When just one eyebrow is raised and the person stares for a while, The Look says: “She’s out of her ever-lovin’ mind to come here with all those kids.”
• When the lips are pursed and the person looks sideways at someone else, The Look says: “Tsk, tsk, it’s no wonder those boys are being rowdy. She can’t handle them.”
• When The Look is accompanied by a sigh, it says: “Pity that poor woman. She’s so overwhelmed, she obviously doesn’t have time to exercise. Look how fat she is.”

I know what The Look says, because I’ve given it myself. I’ve made sweeping accusations of people  based solely on a first impression. It’s easy to do. Our imaginations try to put people in compartments – boxes, if you will – that are familiar to us. When they don’t fit, we’re not sure what to do, so we judge them for being odd.

Some Lookers keep quiet, but oftentimes Lookers can’t resist becoming Chatters. You know Chatters … they say things like, “Wow – you’ve got your hands full, don’t you?” or, “Wow – all boys, eh?”  I usually just shrug and smile, maybe throw in a “yep” and go on about my way. It’s best, of course, when the boys are behaving well, because then the Chatter will remark about how good the kids are. That makes me happy; validation always feels good as a parent.

So, how does this have anything to do with the Campus Diversity Committee? My experience as a Parent of Five Boys has caused me to pause before judging someone based on a first impression. I believe that my worldview has had its edges softened a bit, and I’m better able to understand where people are coming from, because I take the time to get to know them before I formulate an opinion about them.

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” – I Peter 5:5b