I’ve noticed that I don’t write as often when I’m feeling down. Seeing as it’s been a week since my last post, I guess that’s fairly accurate. It’s not that I don’t want to write; I just don’t want to complain too much.

We had a nice time in California, and I am grateful that we had the opportunity to go. Traveling with five kids is very tiresome, though, and the trip was anything but restful.

The pre-deployment briefings were informative but also stark reminders that I’m about to spend a year-plus without my husband at home. As frustrating as he can be sometimes (don’t get me started; that’s fodder for an anonymous ranting blog all to itself), it does make a difference having another grownup in the house to help with the day-to-day routines.

Add to all that the fact that I miss Nathan so much, and now you know why I haven’t felt much like writing this week. Christmas Eve-Eve was always a special, playful day for Nathan & me when we were growing up. We always begged to open “just one!” present early. It has been eleven months since my world imploded, and the ache in my heart today is suffocating.

Bear with me; pray for me; we’ll take one more step forward together.