I believe this is the first time in 13 months that the 23rd came & went without my notice. It dawned on me during the afternoon of the 24th, and I checked my Blackberry to see what the date was. I felt stunned, then pleased, then a little guilty for not noticing the date.

It’s not like I only think about Nathan on the 23rd; it’s just that one date on the calendar that I would like to blot out forever. I guess it’s normal to not think about it quite so much as time goes on. I don’t know why the 2nd of each month isn’t fixated in my mind; his birthday falls on August 2. Speaking of birthdays, I read a very funny birthday blog on Geekdad the other day, and some of the examples were so perfect for Nathan – I wish I’d thought of them for his surprise 30th birthday party!

A couple of the boys and I were watching the Olympics the other night while the others were in the bath assembly line, and I was trying to explain to them about the Canadian ice skater (she ended up winning bronze!) whose mother died just days prior. I could barely get the words out that her mom had died without getting choked up. Moments like those usher in difficult, painful memories to my mind. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the borderline-nauseated feeling that consumed me when I explained to my nephews that their Daddy’s body had quit working, and we wouldn’t get to see him anymore. They didn’t really understand it then, and it will probably be quite some time before they grasp it, entirely.

So, here’s to another month. February is almost over, and before we know it, Easter will be here. Easter may very well be my favorite holiday. What hope we have in Christ!

Until we can worship together in spirit and eternally, I will always remember and love you, Nathan.