Enough people have asked over the past year or so that I figured perhaps I should spend some time thinking it through … how do I manage the grief/stress/chaos of raising five boys with a husband in a war zone? Usually, I just shrug and answer, “One day at a time,” or, “Today, I’m ok,” or, “I haven’t tarred & feathered anyone yet!”

But in all seriousness, how do I do it?

First and foremost, I think it’s a mindset. I’ve talked before about how I feel that my life is not my own, and although I admit that has been distressful at times, I think it can be a healthy mindset, given the right perspective. When it’s not all about me, it’s easier to deal with challenges.

People often say that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” If you can find that verse in the Bible, I’d love for you to share it with me, because it is one that I haven’t read. I’ve read that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear, and I’ve read that we can stand firm in the midst of the devil’s attack, but I have yet to read anything about God sparing us from problems.

Another rose-colored verse that I often hear out of context is Romans 8:28, which people paraphrase to say that “God works everything out for your good.” That sounds so chipper, doesn’t it? We serve a loving God, and he wouldn’t want us to ever have a bad day. True, we DO serve a loving God, but if you read the passage on through verse 29, it says, in a nutshell, that God wants us to be more like Christ. Let’s break that down: Jesus was homeless, not wealthy, had an unsavory reputation among the who’s-who in society and was rejected by his peers. Oh, and not to mention that he totally took the heat for other people’s problems.

With that in mind, I believe that if our challenges lead us into a closer relationship with God, then in his own way, he’s working out that situation for our good … our spiritual good. It doesn’t always mean that things will go as we would like. We don’t have the benefit of omniscience, so it doesn’t do us a lot of good to question God. We just walk day after day in the knowledge that we do have, and we trust faith with the rest.

So, in dealing with grief, stress, the endless energy of five monkey boys, custody issues, [did I mention grief?], work, school, schedules and a deployed spouse, it helps to have a mindset that doesn’t dwell on the negatives but tries to find the many, many blessings in the midst of the drama.

More thoughts in my next post …