Please don’t take that last post to mean that I’m always in the right mindset, because there are certainly times when I lose my temper or say things I shouldn’t. It’s a goal, and I won’t be perfect at it on this side of heaven, but it’s something to strive for.

So, besides having a proper mindset, how else do I juggle the chaos that is my life?

When it comes to raising any number of kids – but definitely with these five! – I would have to say that discipline and consistency are key. I’m still learning this parenting thing … and we haven’t even hit the teen years yet, so I know there is still plenty to learn! However, some things that we do now that seem to be working, and since so many people have asked how I manage it all, I figured I’d share some tactics with you:

Make the punishment fit the crime. I’m not against spanking, but there’s a time and a place for everything. We had a family meeting about a year ago to discuss penalties for certain misdeeds. The boys helped to decide what type of problem should get a time out, privileges taken away, spanking, etc. If someone is going to get a spanking, it is not a surprise; he knows full well what he has done. Spankings are usually reserved for physically harming someone else — biting, kicking, hitting, throwing something at them, etc. Before anyone gets a spanking, we ask them why they are getting it and make sure they understand the seriousness of what they’ve done.

Depending on the infraction, they may have to write lines (for name-calling or back-talking) or give up a toy/game for a period of time (for fighting over it or throwing it in a tantrum). Someone may be separated from the group and made to eat dinner alone in another room for saying that dinner “looks gross” or for spitting on his plate.

Recently, we’ve had a few cases where someone had to come inside and play alone in his room because he kept hollering or bullying outside and couldn’t play nicely with the others. To resolve a mutual squabble, they usually have to apologize (sincerely and repeatedly, if necessary, until it sounds sincere) and hug. If they ride bikes or scooters past “the line” in the driveway that no one is allowed to pass, they are grounded from anything with wheels for the rest of the day &/or the next day. Most of these “minor” issues are pretty well policed; they keep each other in check.

Be consistent. It aggravates me to no end to hear a parent in public threaten their child with such-and-such punishment, when you know that they are not going to go through with it. Kids are smart; they can read parents and know when they are serious and when they are blowing smoke. If you tell a kid that he can’t play video games until Wednesday, then by golly, don’t cave on Monday!

Give Kudos. Equally important to the punishment aspect of discipline is praise. I think all of us could find more opportunities to give our kids props for a job well done, but I really do try to do this as often as possible. When I have a moment with just one or two boys, even if it’s just in passing, I try to hug them or ruffle their hair and tell them I love them. In the car, I recognize a quiet minute by thanking them for not being rowdy while I’m driving. When a big kid assists a little brother, I thank him for being a big helper. I take pictures with my phone and email them to Dad on the spot or post them on Facebook and then show them the page so they can see where I bragged on them.

Are there any other discipline tips that have worked for you that I didn’t think to mention?