Why does remembering your laugh make me cry?

We didn’t usually have long phone conversations, but that night we did. We caught up, shared advice and laughed until we wheezed. I can still hear your laughter in my mind, and it makes me smile and tear up simultaneously. The joke was on me that night, but I don’t care. (Come to think of it, you always managed to make the joke on me!) I only wish I’d told you even more ridiculous tales about myself so that I could hear you laugh even more.

Your little-big sister, all grown up – you could hardly believe it. I wish I’d taken more time to get to know the man you had become. I hope you knew how very proud I am to be your sister.

I see you everyday, you know. I see you in their faces — their expressions when they’ve been busted for wrongdoing and the sparkle in their eyes when they are praised. I remind them about you often — how you drove me crazy! — and what a wonderful father you grew up to be.

Some days, I still want to pick up the phone and call you. Some days, I need my brother.