Fourth grade is the year of the “hygiene” film, but fifth grade is the year of the “puberty” film. They separate the boys & girls, and parents have the opportunity to opt-out of the film, but I thought it would be useful information and help break the ice for further conversation. We’ve been open all along, I think, about “body” questions. The older two asked point-blank a while back how babies are born, so I fielded that question as matter-of-factly as I could on the spot, including some general details about the uterus and birth canal, etc.

I know that Dad had a follow-up conversation with the 5th grader, man-to-man, but they just talked about guy stuff, and I wanted to be sure that he had a basic understanding of what girls go through, as well. Tonight after our tutoring ministry was a perfect opportunity to chat in the car as he and I drove home together. I started by telling him that I know he and Dad talked, but I thought it would be helpful if I told him about girls’ puberty, too, so that he can understand what they go through. I asked if that would be ok (I didn’t want to shove the information on him), and he said yes, so I tried to explain things on his level, as best I could.

I reminded him of our baby birth talk and the special organ called a uterus that girls have. I told him that the uterus lines itself like a helmet to protect the baby, and that’s really awesome that our bodies are built to take care of babies. However, a girl’s body doesn’t know from one month to the next if she’s going to have a baby (insert candid reminder here that we don’t want girls getting pregnant!), so the uterus gets rid of the protective lining. I took a chance on the gross factor and explained that it’s basically bleeding for a few days, usually 3-5, but it could last up to a week. He was ASTOUNDED, I tell you. At first, he said, “No fair – you mean they get to skip school?” and I laughed and said no way – they not only have to go to school, but they still have to do everything else, like P.E., while wearing some kind of a pad to stop the bleeding. He was a wee bit horrified and just said, “Whoa.”

I joked about it a bit and reminded him of the creation story in Genesis, where it says that Adam will have to toil for food, but Eve will have pain in childbirth. I told him that I think Eve got the raw end of the deal. 😉  He said, “No kidding!”

I told him that periods are personal and private, so it’s not something that he needs to go and talk to girls about, but I wanted him to know about them so that he will be compassionate and understanding when girls he knows act cranky or feel bad. I was pretty blunt about how bad cramps hurt (I said something along the lines of: it feels like something inside of your belly is tearing because the uterus is opening & closing ), and I said that it’s normal for girls to feel aggravated or easily upset during this time. I told him it’s called PMS.

After sharing all of that, he said, “Well, you’re a mom, so I think you would know!” I also reminded him that I had a hysterectomy, which means I don’t have to have any more periods. He clued in immediately and added, “It also means that you won’t have six kids! Six boys is a recipe for disaster.” I had to laugh at that!!

I was so grateful for our time together in the car to talk openly about puberty, and I appreciated his openness and understanding. I think he will be genuinely compassionate to his friend-girls, and I hope that this conversation has paved the way to more open communication as he gets older.