The 10yo has been saving money since his birthday to buy the new Pokemon Black game for his Nintendo DS. He finally saved up enough, so we went shopping after work today with the 11yo while the little three were at baseball practice with Dad. He proudly paid cash for his purchase, even though it wiped his wallet clean and I had to float him a couple of bucks to cover tax.

 

On the way home, he wouldn’t shut up about how awesome the game was going to be. Here is the conversation that unfolded between the two of them:

 

10yo: “This game is the best thing in the WORLD.”

11yo: “Uh, no – what about God?”

10yo: “Right, ok – the Number Two best thing.”

11yo: “What about Mom?”

10yo, sighing: “Ok, family is Number Two, so this is third.”

11yo, without missing a beat: “What about food and some clothes and …”

10yo: “Fine! After everything else that’s important, then this.”

 

How quickly we lose sight of what is really important. Sometimes, the silliest things will make me think of my brother, and I feel sad that I can’t pick up the phone and call to talk to him about it. He used to love video games. I’ve been grieving again lately (grieving still? I don’t suppose it ever really goes away – just seems to hit with varying intensity) and besides silly things like new video games, I’ve been thinking about the little two graduating from kindergarten next month. I wish my brother could be there with us. Every milestone he misses is another pang on my heartstrings. One little ceremony of pomp and circumstance will close a door on a milestone that we’ll never repeat. With every closed door, the finality of death slams a harsh reminder in my face.