There are days when it feels like the sole purpose of parenting is simply to survive till bedtime. You reached your wit’s end somewhere between the overflowed toilet, the gum goo in the dryer and the bruise on the arch of your foot from that toy you stepped on, and you are hanging onto a raveling thread of hope that tomorrow will be an improvement.

It’s difficult being told what to do (at any age, but especially as a young person who *obviously* has all the answers already and needs no instruction), yet if we didn’t love them, then we wouldn’t care what they did where and with whom. We have to set boundaries for their safety and well-being, and that means enforcing the rules. “A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them” (Proverbs 13:24, The Message).

In Matthew 21, beginning in verse 28, Jesus told a story about a father instructing his two sons to go work outside. One smarted off and said no but later went out and worked, after all. The other said yes but then never did the work. (Jesus told the story to illustrate salvation—in that we may have rejected him at first but repented and believed later, as opposed to the religious leaders who gave God lip service but didn’t really believe.)

This parable has always resonated uncomfortably with me, because I don’t want to raise either of those sons—I don’t want them to begrudgingly obey me or, worse yet, not put forth any effort at all. I want them to understand that my purpose as a parent is an earthly checks & balances role—God is the one ultimately in charge. “As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, ‘I am holy; you be holy’” (I Peter 1:14-15, The Message). And, if God is in charge, then it’s not just about survival—even toilets, gum goo and toys have a bigger purpose.