I’m writing this post ahead of time, because I know that when the day finally rolls around, I’ll be a blubbering fool, incapable of making coherent sentences.

Today is the day that my late brother’s fiance is getting married. I am so very, very happy for her. And yet, my heart aches so very, very much.

They would be approaching their second anniversary together. I might even have been an aunt again by now. Instead, she had to cancel reservations and go through the heartache of explaining to vendors why the wedding was off. I was still wallowing in my own raw grief at that point, and I only vaguely remember thinking how awful it must have been to tell a stranger that your fiance had died.

*Stop, tears! If I can’t even write a blog post, how am I supposed to make it through the wedding?!?

The fact is, I’m not going to make it through the wedding with dry eyes; I already know that. I just hope that I can control my weeping and not cause a scene.

How can you be so happy for someone and yet so overwhelmed with heartache all at the same time? I love her like a sister, and she will always be part of the family, in my eyes. We call each other sisters-in-love instead of sisters-in-law. That’s who she is. I used to tease my brother that he *finally* picked a good one. I was really looking forward to having a “sister.” I love her very much and want only the best for her.

Truthfully, today is an answer to more than two years of prayer. As soon as I could get beyond “Lord, help me make it through today” sorts of prayers (ah, who am I kidding — I still send up those survival-mode prayers!), I prayed for her to find love again. I asked the Lord to match her up with a godly man after His own heart, someone who will heal her grief and walk alongside her through their new life together … someone she can grow old with.

The Lord answered.

I wish it could be my brother meeting her at the end of the aisle, with that smitten puppy look on his face that he had every time she walked into a room. I wish my nephews were carrying ring pillows or standing tall as junior groomsmen by their Daddy.

I wish …

Lord, today and evermore, please bless this union that we witness today. Thank you that in your wisdom and divine providence, you saw fit to bring them together. Guide their steps as they walk this journey of life. Thank you that your mercies are new each and every morning. Thank you for bringing her love again.