I have a small plaque that a co-worker gave me a few years ago that reads: “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” Having grown up with only one brother as a sibling, I can attest that I have a few close girlfriends who are like sisters to me. In fact, one of my favorite stories of all time is the Anne of Green Gables series; I particularly love how the author described Anne and her best friend, Diana, as “kindred spirits.”

Having a kindred spirit is more than just having a BFF, as today’s vernacular suggests. With a BFF (best friends forever), you may pal around and have plenty of things in common, but then someone’s parents get relocated out of state or you grow up and move off to different colleges, and over time, the friendship may lose touch. You don’t mean for it to; it just happens. It’s part of life. With a kindred spirit, however, no distance keeps you apart. There may be periods of life when you don’t see each other for months or even years, but you have a heart-to-heart connection that goes well beyond Facebook updates, Foursquare check-ins and text-gossip.

Proverbs 18:24 refers to “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (NIV). The Message paraphrase reads: “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.” That type of relationship, the family-but-not-by-blood connection with someone is an amazing gift. It’s the type of friendship that I believe the disciples had with one another and with Jesus. It’s the type of relationship that I believe we ought to have as a church body.

When we talk about “doing life together” as a church family, it’s a step in this direction. We build relationships with each other through Life groups, and that is terrific, but it takes making a special effort to reach out to someone in friendship to build a kindred spirit bond. It means being honest, taking off the façade and being held accountable. It means being vulnerable. Are you willing to let a kindred spirit have access to the tender parts of your heart?