My mom and I are very close, and as I’ve grown older, I have discovered that our relationship is unfortunately not as common as I used to naively think. That isn’t to say that we never disagreed; in fact, I’m pretty sure that she would like to block out a couple of my eye-rolling, back-talking years from middle school. But all in all, we have an ideal relationship. So, it comes naturally for me to think about writing a sappy Mothers’ Day devotional that focuses on how wonderful our moms are.

But, what about the times when things aren’t coming up roses? What about the relationships that are estranged, dysfunctional or non-existent? My heart goes out to people today who don’t have much reason to celebrate Mothers’ Day. So, if you have a good relationship with your mom, praise God and be thankful! If not, stick with me, and let’s think through a few things together …

My younger kiddos have been learning Ephesians 6:1 this week, which reads: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (NIV). Verse 2 echoes Deuteronomy 5:16: “Honor your father and mother …” (one of the 10 Commandments). Somehow in the course of our conversation the other evening about their memory verse, I mistakenly made a sweeping generalization … something along the lines of, “Well, I obeyed my parents.” Without missing a beat, one of the kids piped up and said, “Not always!”

Ouch. So true. I had to admit that he was right, and I did not always obey my parents. However, I added, they taught me what the right thing was to do, and I knew to apologize and make things right if I messed up. It ended up being an open and honest conversation about imperfect people trying to make good choices.

Even today, sometimes the one making the mistake is me, and I have to apologize to the kids for overreacting or whatever it was that I did to hurt their feelings. I think it goes a long way for a parent to admit their shortcomings, rather than pretending to be right all the time (as much as we’d like to be). How else will our kids learn to own up to their mistakes if we don’t model it to them?

Instead of the old stand-by cliché, “Because I told you so,” perhaps we should redirect the conversation to what the Bible says … because he told us so. Children are supposed to obey their parents “in the Lord.” It’s his approval that ultimately matters, so if you feel like you don’t measure up in your earthly parents’ eyes, turn your focus onto the Lord and live to please him.