The teenager has a school dance on Friday, and apparently, the theme is “Retro.” That little booger had the gall to come up to me and say: “So, Mom, you’re ‘retro’ — what do you think I should wear? I was thinking something ‘hippie’ like.'”

Then again, bell-bottoms and Hammer pants were both horrible, so what’s the use in quibbling over a couple of decades?