There are times in this life journey when being Ms. Independent catches up with me (more like smacks me upside the head). In such moments (or days, or weeks), I feel sub-par in various areas of my life, be it motherhood, work, school or even spiritually. In the midst of the frustration, beautifully validating moments sometimes come along that may seem like happenstance, but I choose to believe that they are God-orchestrated blessings to remind me that being independent is well and good, but it’s also ok not to have my act together all of the time.

When I changed jobs last summer, the “status” of my position also changed. It’s still a full-time job, and on the surface, you wouldn’t know (or probably care, which is the whole point) that the type of full-time category had changed. Well, that little change meant that I was not eligible to be a member of an internal organization that I’ve been actively involved with for several years. I tried to pretend like it was no big deal, but the truth is that my feelings were hurt, as if I’d been brushed aside.

Earlier this week, I attended a Christmas reception on campus and ran into the current president of the organization. She pulled me aside and said that she’d been trying to get in touch with me (had my old number) to tell me that she was horrified when she heard what I was told about not being eligible for membership. She had personally stood up to the board about this issue and asked me to please consider rejoining the group, because I was valued and appreciated. Realizing that someone went to bat for me like that was truly refreshing.

The other much-appreciated validation moment came earlier today. I have been exchanging emails this past week with a professor about organizing my dissertation committee, and I asked for her candid input after she finished grading my recent research paper, to see if it would be feasible to expand into my capstone project, and, ultimately, my dissertation. Her feedback would be extremely important, and if she shot it down, then I would likely have to start from Square One with a new research agenda.

I almost cried when I checked my messages today and saw this note:

The paper was extremely well written. So much so that I cannot state with specificity any area which I think you could expand/improve for Capstone purposes. However, I most definitely believe the potential for a Capstone project exists. I am guessing you could … basically just broaden/expand upon all areas. You explain it very well – particularly given that many people are not familiar with it. Great job!

It is nerve-wracking to be at this point in the program and realize that push has come to shove, and you really need to have a solid idea for your dissertation. Having this kind of input is so reassuring! I’m pumped up and excited to crank out my last three classes this spring & summer and hit the ground running at full speed for my capstone & dissertation in the fall. The department chair is leery of people rushing to finish in the fall, so I may have to stretch it out until the spring, but I am determined to put my best foot forward, and I’ve never felt more motivated.

Thank you, Lord, for these moments where you remind me that my life isn’t just about going through the motions day in and day out. I don’t know exactly what you have in store, but I trust you and thank you.