(Continued from yesterday’s post)

Sixteen years have passed since that Sunday morning. My life looks radically different, and yet many of my internal struggles nowadays are similar to ones that I experienced back then. I’m thrilled to report that my current boss is a delightful individual and going to work is not a drudgery, but there’s still a sense of “What do I want to be when I grow up?” People often ask me what I “plan to do with” my doctorate, as if the choices are all mine to be made. I honestly don’t know the answer to that question.

I enjoy the work that I’m doing, and I can see myself staying in this path, perhaps on a broader scale in the future. I’m making deliberate efforts to present and publish my research, so that I can gain a strong footing in academia, but even that can be iffy. I’ve seen faculty members strive for years to gain tenure and fail. Moving from “staff” to “faculty” can be next to impossible. Even making the leap from “staff” to “administrator” can be difficult, since so many of those folks come from the faculty. Anyway, it’s not something that I lose sleep over; I just do the best I can and trust that God has a plan for me.

The relationship aspects of what the woman told me, though — that’s another story. My dad and I went through some rocky times during and after my parents’ divorce. We have a much better relationship now, but I can see that God was preparing me back then to face some hard days. My brother and I developed a much closer relationship in the years following my overseas experience, which was awesome, and then he died, which was completely the opposite of awesome. I can see how she may have been referring to God “being there” for me when my brother was not. And then, there’s the marriage thing. It has been challenging, to say the least, Army deployments notwithstanding. I’m still trying to figure out the reference to that relationship. As for friends, some have come and gone, but a core few have remained, and for that, I’m very grateful.

Now that my eldest and I have the opportunity to go to Brazil this coming summer, I’ve been thinking about all of these things. There are so many prophesies in the Bible that pertain to both the current setting and some unknown time in the future. That’s kind of what this feels like right now. Perhaps the woman evangelist wasn’t just referring to Asia; maybe God was looking ahead to today. God hasn’t told me in such a clear way that we are supposed to go now like he did then, but he has already begun making provisions financially, and it is fun to watch my son’s excitement grow. It’s such a neat experience to be preparing for a trip like this as a pair, rather than just myself. I don’t know what he has in store, but I have a hunch that it’s going to be amazing!