I wasn’t planning to attempt to get tickets for the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I tonight. It’s a school/work night, after all, and movie tickets aren’t cheap. My oldest really wanted to go, but I promised him that we would see a matinee this weekend, instead. He was satisfied with that alternative, and we’ve been looking forward to our “date” all week.

Well … this afternoon, I WON tickets to the midnight premiere! When I called to tell him, I started the conversation like I normally do after he gets home from school:

Mom: “How was your day?”

Son: “Good.”

Mom: “Did you have a really good day?”

Son: “Sure.”

Mom: “What would make today the best day EVER?”

Son: “If you let me stay up till midnight and go watch Harry Potter.”

Mom: “Hmm, but we’d need tickets.”

Son: “You got TICKETS?!?!”

About this time, I thought he was about to faint or hyperventilate. Needless to say, we’re both very excited about our “date” being moved to tonight!

It is Veterans Day, a time to reflect upon and appreciate those who have fought for our freedom. War is a necessary evil, for lack of a better phrase. People may argue till the cows come home that we should “make love, not war,” but the reality is that there comes a time when a country has to put its foot down and defend itself.  Our convenient, albeit overwhelming, access to 24/7 news means that we hear constant updates of war casualties … we can’t escape it … death tolls, names of dead soldiers, pictures of the wounded.

What we don’t hear as much about are the quiet struggles of military marriages and the internal turmoil of the soldiers as individuals. Suicide and divorce rates are both up from years prior.

The Army makes resources available to families and soldiers so that they can be alert to warning signs of behavioral health issues, but there is still a pervasive, negative view of seeking help. Soldiers are supposed to be strong. Soldiers are supposed to be resourceful. Soldiers never show weakness. Soldiers are Army Strong. They are drilled to be tough, yet we expect them to switch gears while the wheels are still in motion and become vulnerable.

It’s akin to never letting your kids climb trees, jump off ledges or ride a skateboard, but they grow up and you wonder why they are afraid to take risks. If they’ve spent years hearing that they should be safe, be careful, don’t run … and are never given the chance to explore those things, even under our watchful eyes … how can we expect them to do the opposite once they leave their protective bubble?

Is war to blame for the increase in suicides and divorces? Not entirely, no. I do think it’s a contributing factor, though. War is stressful – and not just for the soldiers! Problems that existed in a marriage may actually get a reprieve when a soldier is deployed, because it’s a forced separation for the couple. They get a timeout to focus on other things (like surviving). When the soldier returns home, chances are, those problems are still there. In addition, there are added stressors like re-acclimating to civilian life, reverse culture shock and so many other factors.

As friends and loved ones of military families, I wish there was something better we could say to each other than, “If you need anything, I’m here for you.” What is the military spouse supposed to answer? “Gee, thanks – could you please get my husband to look me in the eye when we talk? Or, better yet, could you get him to talk to me, period? Could you get my kids to stop lashing out and pushing him away? Could you get him to stop bouncing his leg nervously at the dinner table so that the whole table shakes? Could you force him to go to counseling with me?” I’m not saying that all of these questions are mine, personally, but at any given point in time, some of them could be.

We tend to romanticize homecomings. Everyone is supposed to be happy, right? We are glad that the soldier is home safely, indeed, and that’s nothing to make light of; too many do not return whole or at all. Those lingering problems that were shoved into a box and stashed in the back of the closet with all of the outgrown winter clothes are still there, though. At some point, the box needs to be opened and sorted through, or it’s bound to spill over and become a bigger mess to deal with.

Traveling with five children can be challenging, but I tried to be organized & think ahead. I did forget chewing gum for takeoff and landing, but all in all, I think we did pretty ok.

I packed a drawstring backpack for each boy with his own plastic folder containing a new coloring book, notebook, pencil and a few crayons. They also had a paper lunchsack with some snacks, and they each brought a handheld game (the oldest 3 have Nintendo DSes, and the youngest 2 received Leapsters for their birthdays). All of the above kept them fairly occupied.

A few fun tidbits I thought I’d share:
• The flight attendant on our first leg asked the little two if they were twins. No. 5 looked up at her and responded with utmost sincerity, “Nope, we’re brothers.”
• The awesome crew on the next flight offered for the boys to go inside the cockpit AND take turms sitting in the co-captain’s spot! Talk about some excited kids! If that weren’t enough, the captain even let No. 4 greet the passengers over the intercom. He said, “Hi!” and the captain followed up by saying, “That was your captain speaking; he’ll be back in a moment to welcome you aboard.” He totally made my munchkin’s day!
• There were also some kindnesses from strangers, like the grandma who sat next to No. 3 and struck up a conversation with him, the two folks on either side of No. 5 who helped him with his word search — all-around awesome people, and the lady who shared pieces of gum with Nos. 2&4. We didn’t have any control over our seat choices, so it was nice that other folks took to our scattered family so kindly.
• I would be remiss if I didn’t also give a shout out to the terrific volunteers at the USO at IAH (Houston). What sweethearts!

Well, it sounds like everyone is finally asleep! We hit that wall where they were so tired, they got hyper. Thankfully, some dinner in their bellies and a walk back to the hotel in the brisk air seemed to help. I’ll try to write more later this weekend.

After years of wading through military acronyms, I still get confused.  Here are a few tips on how to tell if you might be a military family …

… if your ETA is 17:30.
… if you skipped the annual tax-free weekend for back-to-school sales because the PX is tax-free year-round.
… if you have to show an ID to go grocery shopping.
… if you’ve spent more time away from your spouse than under the same roof.
… if your kids know more country capitals than state capitals.
… if the Rear Det CPT is POC of the RFO for your TDY.
… if you ordered your Christmas gifts online through AAFES.
… if your well behaved kid is a “brat.”
… if you have traveled to more countries than states.
… if DFAS screwed up your paycheck … again.
… if you know how to absentee vote but are unsure where to find your local poling site.
… if your son asks for a “high & tight” as his summer haircut and a “fade” for the winter.
… if you know someone who volunteers for MIRC or AFRP (and if you do, give them a hug & say thanks!).
… if your kid’s top choices for what s/he wants to be when s/he grows up are paratrooper, helicopter pilot and tank driver.
… if R&R means much, much more than an afternoon at the spa.
… if your team scores and you yell, “Hooah!”
… if your spouse phones home via Skype.
… if your kid needs to go no farther than your closet to dress up for “camo day” at school.
… if you’ve ever tied a yellow ribbon around a tree in your yard.

To all of our military family & friends (and to those who love & support us) – thanks!

Our oldest is in 5th grade this year, and thus far, we have avoided lice. Without fail, we receive a letter from a least one kid’s teacher (or daycare teacher, back in the day) each year that a case of lice has been reported in their room.  Now that the little two are in kindergarten, I realized that our odds of remaining lice-free are slimmer and slimmer. So, I did some cursory research to find recommended preventative measures.

We half-joke that since they’re all boys, we could go the extreme route if someone does get lice: shave them bald. They’ve had “Army” haircuts off and on for years, and most of them prefer their hair short over long, anyway.  (The 11yo is postponing a haircut as long as possible right now so that he can dress in character for his Albert Einstein report next week. You think I’m kidding?)

Anyway, back to the prevention ideas. From what I read, it looks like rosemary, lavender and tea tree oil are recommended as lice deterrents. I don’t happen to keep lavender oil or tea tree oil on hand, but I did have an almost-full herb container of rosemary that has been in the pantry for years, so I figured I’d try an experiment.

I ground the rosemary into powder using a mortar and pestle, then steeped it in hot water to make “tea.” I strained out the herb with a paper towel and let it cool, then dipped a plastic comb into the “tea” and wet the boys’ hair (particularly behind the ears and nape of the neck, which is where I read that you should apply the lavender/tea tree oil). The aroma is nominal, so no worries about the boys smelling like perfume.

So, I’ll keep you posted on whether or not it helps. I am going to try to remember to douse them every day with it, at least until I run out of the “tea” concoction. I figured that it certainly couldn’t hurt, and if it keeps the lice away, then score one for not having to buy expensive chemical shampoo and that awful wire comb to scrape out the nits. *eww* I shiver just thinking about it.

In all humility, I don’t think it’s too bold of a statement to say that I’m a pretty likable person. I build rapport easily with people, and I believe that I am respected among my peers. I make mistakes, sure, and I could rattle off plenty of scenarios that I wish I could reenact. All in all, though, people tend to smile when I walk into a room, and I have few enemies in the world.

Today, though, I managed to tick off both a colleague AND a dean. How’s that for starting off the week on a positive note?!? There is no sense rehashing the nitty-gritty details here; suffice it to say that I stood my ground on a couple of matters where we were in disagreement. (The situations were unrelated, ironically enough … I upset them each for completely different reasons).

I don’t like the idea of having tense working relationships with anyone, but I stand by my scruples in both situations, and if I had it to do over, I think I would have responded similarly. Going forward will be interesting, because I’m not sure how smoothly the water will flow under the bridge for a while. I will do my best to remain impartial and professional, as I’d like to think is my usual custom.

I’m still here, just haven’t had much to say the past few days. I’m feeling a bit frustrated about some things (and more than a bit frustrated about a few others), but I didn’t want to write a whining post, so I just decided to lay low.

Not to mention, I had a dream last night that I was at a meeting, got upset about the way they were handling matters, told a couple of people exactly what was on my mind (and not in my inside voice) and got myself fired. How’s that for a splendid way to start the morning? Perhaps my subconscious was working through some anxiety … ya think?!?

Like we often do when the boys need to be in two places at once, tonight was a “divide & conquer” evening. I got the long straw and took the oldest two to the bookstore while Dad took the little three to soccer. 😉

On the way to the store, I put on some Carmex medicated lip balm, and one of the boys commented, “Something smells good.”

I replied, “Carmex?? I didn’t think it smelled very good.”

“Well, it smells better than perfume,” he added.

“I don’t get it – how can Carmex smell better than perfume?” I asked.

“This girl two lockers down from me sprayed a bunch of it today, and it was gross,” he explained.

I grinned and replied, “Maybe she was flirting with you and was trying to smell nice.” This elicited a chuckle from the other brother and a scowl from Mr. Anti-fragrance.

“No, I’m pretty sure she just did it to annoy me.”

lol – boys! They have much to learn about the wily ways of women.

I had a dental checkup this morning; we’ve been going to the same place for the past five or six years, and I love the whole staff. The boys actually LIKE going to the dentist! You can’t get a much better recommendation than five kids who enjoy dental visits.

I have only had two cavities in my life, that I can recall, but I admit to being an awful flosser. I just don’t like doing it; it makes me gag and hurts my gums. I have been blessed with healthy teeth and gums, though, because my hygienist praises my “home care” at every checkup.

This morning was particularly funny (to me, at least). I confessed to her, yet again, that I still don’t floss, and she quipped, “Well, God must’ve known that you wouldn’t have time to, because he blessed you with healthy gums, anyway!” It made me laugh in that gargly way that you do with a mirror on a stick in your mouth. Later on, she held up the floss twirled around her fingers and said, “This is floss. You’re going to get it twice a year, whether you like it or not.” LOL! I love her sense of humor.

Also, I joked with No. 3 before I left this morning that I thought it was unfair that grownups don’t get a treasure box prize when they go to the dentist, and he huffed and said, “Well, they should!” I told the hygienist, and guess what – I got a lovely plastic ring to model for him when I get home.

I’m supposed to be reading this unit’s assignment on the Enlightenment, but I overheard something funny in the other room and thought I’d share it with you. The big two are with grandparents right now, and the little three are watching a kids’ show on Netflix/Wii in the living room.

No. 4 accidentally sat on the Wii remote, which stopped the video. No. 3 tattled to Dad that he “broke the movie,” and Dad called back, “Well, then, fix it.” No. 4 whined that he didn’t do it, and you can fill in the back-and-forth heated exchange for the next few seconds between No. 3 & No. 4.

Just when I thought Dad was going to intervene and break it up, No. 5 cut in and said, “Guys, you’re ‘upposed to click the mouse on the arrow there.” Sure enough, I heard the click of the Wii remote (it has a cursor like a mouse) and the video started back up again.

It is premature to make too many comparisons to the reading, since I’ve just begun, but from what I understand thus far, the Enlightenment is about coming to one’s own conclusions and not relying on others’ instructions. When left to their own devices (within reason, of course), the kids can often work out a solution. Sometimes I think Dad doesn’t intervene quickly enough, but perhaps I  intervene too often.