Bikini body

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(There’s a title that’s sure to draw more than the usual overload of spam comments! LOL)

I can recall one brief year in college when I felt comfortable enough in my own skin to wear a bikini, and even then, the top was a racer-back, high-neck style (with a zipper that I kept pretty far up), and the bottoms were a high-waist cut. Bikinis were either explicitly forbidden or strongly discouraged when I was growing up; either way, I don’t remember having any. Ironically, the plus-size, one-piece with a skirted bottom that I wear now shows more cleavage than I ever would have dreamed back in the days when I thought weighing 140lbs was dreadful.

Even at the pinnacle of my athletic years, when I was swimming almost daily and biking all over the neighborhood, I wore a solid size 10. I remember having one pair of shorts in a size 8, but they were an anomaly. I was fit and muscular, but I did not have an hourglass figure — I’ve always resembled more of a rectangle. My hips and chest have been the same measurement for as long as I’ve ever measured my circumference, and although my waistline has grown and shrunk and grown some more, it has never been markedly more slender than my other measurements.

All that is to say, I dread shopping for bathing suits. I needed to buy a bodysuit-style one-piece for the super-sprint triathlon (<<read: super-short, not super-speed!) that my best friend and I participated in last weekend, and it was a humiliating reminder that I have much more work to do concerning my weight.

Three childbirths have secured the fact that I will never, ever wear a bikini again, even if I got down to what the size charts say I should weigh (which, by they way, is easily 30lbs less than what I’m aiming for). No one in public needs to see the wrinkly, stretched-out terrain that is my belly.

I thought about posting one of the dreadful pictures from this weekend here as motivation to myself, but I decided against it, because if I ever run for office, that will be the first snapshot to hit the tabloids, and I would feel humiliated. I’ll just keep the picture in my mind and try to pull it to the forefront when I want carbs and other junk. It’s easier said than done, obviously, or else I would have succeeded by now. I told myself that I would never roller coaster my weight, but that’s exactly what I’ve done. Sigh.

So, I’m re-motivated to get serious: eat right and move more. Next year’s photos will not be so embarrassing!!

Leaving the boat (Prayer Devotional for the week of May 12, 2013)

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There was a period of time (for most of middle and high school, in fact) when I had my mind set on becoming an optometrist. After all, I’d been going to one for as long as I could remember, and I was fascinated by the equipment in his office. To my delight, he offered me a part-time job my junior year, and I finally got to learn the behind-the-scenes workings of an optometrist’s office. I did clerical tasks, ordered prescription glasses and even got to help teach people how to put on their new contact lenses.

I also learned that the switch-flipping and knob-dialing that used to fascinate me so much from a patient’s perspective turned out to be very routine, and – quite frankly – rather boring to me. At a time when all of my friends were settling into academic majors, I walked away completely from the path that I had thought was a sure fit for me.

My decision to change paths doesn’t seem so shocking in this day and age, but back in Bible times, it wasn’t so easy. Depending on your socio-economic status and family connections, your career path was pretty much planned for you. If your dad was a carpenter, then you would follow in his steps. If he was a fisherman, then you’d be spending time on the lake learning the ropes. If you were from the tribe of priests, then you learned about working in the temple. There wasn’t much job-hopping, from what I understand. That is why I think the story of Jesus calling his first disciples is so interesting.

In Matthew 4:18-22, we read that Jesus identified two pair of brothers, who all happened to be fishermen. In fact, the second set were getting ready to fish with their father when Jesus called them. All four of the guys left their nets behind – two even walked away from their father and left him in the boat. They turned their backs on their livelihoods, the careers they had been trained to do all of their lives, and followed Jesus.

I don’t believe that God calls everyone to radical life changes; after all, your office or work site can be your personal mission field. However, I do think it’s important for us to come to terms with the “what if?” notion that he might call us to do something drastic in our lives. Does the very idea of leaving your familiar surroundings for the unknown of serving Jesus excite you or freak you out? Would you leave your boat like the guys mentioned above, or would you make excuses like the people in Luke 9:57-62? What would it take for God to call you out of your comfort zone and into his service?