Writing Wednesday: Last Will & Testament

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I regret that I never got around to doing this sooner, but at least it’s done now. I can give you a list of reasonable excuses as to why I didn’t have a formal will until recently, but when push comes to shove, none of the excuses matter. My family should not have to endure what I/we had to go through (and continue to deal with) after my brother’s death “intestate.” <<That’s legalese for dying without a will.

I’m sure that going through a lawyer is the preferred route to cover all of your bases, but at the very least, I encourage you to use one of myriad free templates available online and have your will notarized. Save the original in a firebox or safe deposit box, and give a copy of the will to your parents, siblings, or whomever you think might need ready access to it, in the unfortunate event of your untimely demise.

If you don’t have a will on file, please don’t let another week go by without taking care of it — even if you don’t have kids! You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to gain access to someone’s bank accounts when they didn’t leave a will. Something as simple as designating someone so that your family can take care of your financial matters is vitally important.

In addition to the Last Will & Testament that tells your survivors what to do with your belongings and who should have guardianship of your children, another important document is called a Living Will. This is where you instruct doctors and your family on your wishes, if you were ever incapacitated, comatose, etc. To put it bluntly, this document relieves your family from the pressure of knowing when/if to pull the plug, because your instructions have already been recorded.

It’s not a fun task, by any means, but it needs to be done. Don’t delay!

Secret Santa, humbug

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Can I be brutally honest? I’m feeling a little lot jealous lately. Several friends on Facebook, Twitter and even down the hall in other offices are having Secret Santa gift exchanges and planning office parties for Christmas, and although I’m happy for them that they are having fun, I feel like throwing a pity party for myself.

Sure, some friends/old co-workers of mine are getting together for lunch later this week to continue our annual book exchange that we started a couple of years ago (when we actually worked together). I’m really looking forward to it – don’t get me wrong – but it’s not the same as having people in your office with whom to celebrate.

Hearing about everyone else’s office parties just reminds me of how isolated I am.

Before you think I’m completely pathetic, I should note that my division is having a get-together after work this evening, and families are invited. The irony is that one of my kids’ names was left off of the invitation. I know that typos happen. I know that I have a large family. Yet, I also know that the internal database is correct (because I checked it), and I know that if you really know me, then you know that I have five kids – not four. In the effort to make it sound more personal, that sort of mistake makes me feel even less connected. A generic invitation to “Angela & family” would have been better than leaving off one child’s name.

Am I splitting hairs? Perhaps. Do I need an attitude adjustment for my pride? Apparently.

I don’t think I’ve ever been a particularly boastful person. (Please correct me if I’m mistaken, because this is an area that I feel convicted to address right now.) I don’t think that I’ve ever lorded my position over anyone or purposely come across as better than anyone. Yet, despite any of the accomplishments that I could list on my resume, the past couple of months in solitary confinement have been like a back-hand to the face to show me my place in the world.

I don’t mean this to say that I don’t think I have a lot to offer on the job and in life, in general — of course I have potential, but what I’ve come to realize is that my role in the grand scheme of the universe is so inconsequential as to negate any prideful feelings I may have ever had about my abilities. God hasn’t quit taking care of me, and his plan for my life hasn’t derailed. The sooner I come to terms with that fact, the sooner I can cancel the RSVP to my pity party and focus on the blessings in my life — with or without Secret Santas.

Monday Musings: Worship through song

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What’s more beautiful
than hearing your son praise God,
lifting up his voice?

Yesterday’s worship service was particularly moving for me, on several levels. First of all, our pastor has experienced numerous health problems this year, and I felt so thankful that he was well enough to preach. It is also the Christmas season, which reminds me of my brother, so I was feeling a bit emotional about that, already. But, what really stirred my heart was overhearing one of my boys sing.

I don’t even really know how to explain it, because I hear people singing all around me every week. There was just something remarkable that sparked in my spirit when I heard his voice aside from the rest. To be reminded that one day, we too – mother and child, sister and brother – will stand together before the throne and worship our heavenly father forever and ever … that was truly moving.

The wish list balancing game (Prayer devotional for the week of Dec. 11)

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Gift giving can be a tricky endeavor. We don’t want to spend too much money, but we want to find gifts that are meaningful and personal. We don’t want to spoil the kids, but we want to give them treats because we remember how much fun we had opening presents as children. We want to bask in the twinkling lights and all of the sights and sounds of the season but not forget the Reason we celebrate. It’s a balance; don’t you think?

I appreciate hearing the kids pray as they take turns before bedtime and ask God for things like helping us all not be greedy and thanking him for sending Jesus. Yet, on the same token, they have written extensive wish lists asking for everything from snow to a pet owl (alas, Hedwig) to a grappling hook (thank you, G-Force).

How do we find balance – and, better yet – how do we instill that balance in our kids?

The famous ask-seek-knock passage of Luke 11 lends some insight to this question. Jesus asked his followers a few questions that seemed like no-brainers: If your son asks for a fish, would you give him a snake? If he asks for an egg, would you give him a scorpion? In modern-day terms, perhaps we could say that if your son asks for an mp3 player, would you give him a table saw? Of course not! We want to give our kids gifts that are age-appropriate and reasonable.

Jesus continued the analogy by explaining that if we (despite our sinful nature) know how to shower our children with good presents, how much MORE will our heavenly Father (who is perfect) be willing to give us his Holy Spirit. He doesn’t offer the Holy Spirit because we’ve written it down on a wish list. Nor does he offer his Spirit because we saw a commercial for it and won’t quit begging him for it. He offers his Spirit because it is part of himself—his forgiveness, his grace, his mercy, his comfort—that he willingly and lovingly gives to us.

We find balance when we remember that giving of ourselves is more important than anything we could wrap and place under the tree.

Foodie Friday: Tofu

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I may have had tofu a couple of times in college, but it wasn’t until I actually went to China that I realized the delicious variety of this vegetarian staple. Granted, I’m not a vegetarian, but I do love tofu.

Here are several of my favorite ways to have this versatile soybean treat:

Stir-fry. Simple as that, y’all – tofu is chockfull of protein and makes an excellent meat substitute (or supplement) in any stir-fry dish. The ol’ stand-by, soy sauce, is good, but I also like oyster sauce. (Gotta go easy on it, though, b/c it does contain some sugar.)

Soups. Tofu is excellent in soups, as it doesn’t break down much and makes a hearty protein ingredient. The traditional Vietnamese “Pho” soup is particularly wonderful with tofu.

Do Jiang. The Chinese pronounce tofu with a “d” sound at the beginning: dough-foo. Do Jiang is a breakfast drink that is hearty and delicious. I have not found it stateside since I visited an Asian grocery store in Dallas, but it is tops on my list for the next time I visit a metropolitan Chinatown. It is thick and creamy like a smoothie and oh-so-good.

Dofu Nao. From what I can tell, this dish is served two ways: savory and sweet. I’ve only ever had it sweet, as a breakfast dish. There were street vendors in the town where I lived in China who would sell slices of hot tofu from a slab in their kiln (best word to describe the street oven, I think) and smother it in something like syrup. Heavenly!! I’ve tried my best to duplicate this dish with warm tofu, syrup and Splenda, and it’s not bad, but it’s just not quite the same. One of these days, I will figure out the traditional recipe.

Noodles. I have not perfected this technique, but if you use “firm” tofu and slice it in fettuccine-size slivers, it can make a good noodle substitute. Tofu tends to take on the flavor of the sauce/spices used, and it has the same consistency as pasta.

You don’t have to be a vegetarian to enjoy tofu. Give it a try!