The water lilies were pretty, but the white-on-blue font bothered my eyes. Besides, I have enough blue in my life … I need more pink! š
House restaurant
The 5yos asked me on the way home today if we could rename our house “Monkey Boys Restaurant.” I said that was a clever idea, but it’s a house – not a restaurant.
“Plleeease?” they asked in unison. I shook my head no again.
Ri: “But you fix good food!”
Me: “Thank you, but we can’t just turn our house into a restaurant.”
Ry (with a resigned expression and sudden realization on his face): “Oh, yeah – we wouldn’t have enough chairs for everyone to sit.”
Ri: “AND they might make a mess on the carpet.”
Ry: “And if they eat pistachio nuts, they might leave the shells on the floor.”
LOL – as if the only reasons why we couldn’t convert our home into a restaurant are simply matters of seating arrangements and cleaning up messes! Never a dull moment with those two!Ā :p
Just Say No, kids!
The only question that I missed on the written portion of my driver’s license exam asked about the fine for marijuana possession. (The fact that I still remember that disappointing little fun fact goes a long way in explaining why I relate so well to Hermione in the Harry Potter stories, but I digress.) It dawned on me the other day that in the past year, my list of Things I Never Thought I’d Need To Know has grown exponentially.
Who would’ve guessed that I’d need to know the symptoms of “ice” use, contraindications of psychotropic meds and the side effects of meth? Or the explanation for a Motion of Transfer, Motion to Enforce and the differences between managing and possessory conservators?
Sometimes I think I should’ve gone to law school, but then I remember how the hairs on the back of my neck quiver when I hear “her” voice, and I think to myself – there is no way I could deal with people like that day in and day out. I’ve always had low blood pressure, but that job might just do me in. I don’t see how defense attorneys manage it. How do they keep a straight face and calm demeanor when they know full well that their client is a flat-out, manipulative, system-playing liar?
I am confident in where we stand and the records we’ve kept, but just knowing that I have to deal with her constant – and ever more dramatic – issues is enough to make me want to move to Alaska just to get away from her. Of course, I’m joking, but you get the drift. I’m not the one who moves every month or two and never tells the Court or the State my new address or phone number!
It’s times like these that I have to stop and remind myself (or be reminded, as the case may be) that they’re my brother’s kids, and we’re doing this for THEM and for HIM, not for her. That perspective keeps me balanced and helps me speak rationally to the utterly irrational thorn in my side.
karate dream
I dreamt that I got held up while standing in line at the bank. I did a shoulder hold from the back release move, palm strike to the nose, blocking punch and pinned the would-be criminal to the ground, then looked up and calmly asked the stunned teller: “Um, would you mind calling the police, please?”
I was interviewed on the nightly news and Mr. Passmore awarded me an honorary belt. LOL – I think I need more sleep.
Imaginary letter assignment
My 9yo wrote an imaginary letter to a girl named Amanda for an assignment based on the book, “Because of Winn Dixie.” It warmed my heart and made me teary, so I wanted to share it with you.
When other people are around, this kiddo tends to be the socialite, but we’ve had several past-bedtime, private talks about fear and worrying. He has a sensitive heart, and I’m proud to see him sharing it with others (even in an imaginary letter).
honest prayer
No. 3 has an ear infection that he didn’t complain about until today, and it turned out to be pretty bad. Poor kiddo. The doc gave him antibiotics in both oral and drop form, as well as pain drops. Nana and Granddad graciously offered for him to spend the night with them tonight, and he’ll stay home from school tomorrow with Nana.
At bedtime tonight, the other boys and I took turns saying prayers, and we prayed for No. 3 and Dad, specifically. (Dad called from Iraq tonight and isn’t feeling well, either. He thinks it’s a stomach bug.) When it came time for No. 1’s turn, he prayed that Nana “wouldn’t lose her mind” while she’s home with No. 3. LOL
I talked to Nana a little while ago to check on him, and she hasn’t lost her mind yet, haha! She said that he is disappointed about missing school tomorrow, because they’re doing something with meal-worms in science. Boys!!Ā :p
Random questions
A friend commented recently that with five kids, I must be bombarded with lots of questions every day. It is so true! Most of the questioning is in the car, so I can’t exactly jot them down while driving, but I’ve tried to remember a few to share with you (in no particular order):
- Can God touch the sun?
- Can we do an experiment and make water out of hydrogen and oxygen?
- Can we plant these pickle seeds?
- How many trees are there in the world?
- What does it feel like to die?
- Why can’t I have any Easter candy before breakfast?
- Can we have an orangutan/another dog/a stray cat?
- Can we build a tree house/fort/skate ramp out of the previously neatly stacked pile of firewood?
- Can we live on the moon?
Because of Easter ā¦ I have enough.
My pastor asked me to participate in the Easter service tomorrow by sharing my testimony. We’re wrapping up a series, and the topic for this Sunday is “Because of Easter …” I was glad to do it, and although I’m a little nervous, I’m hopeful that people will be ministered to by what I have to say.
On a lighthearted note, I mentioned to my 9yo that I would be helping out during the sermon, so he proudly announced to his brothers: “Hey guys! Guess what? Mama’s preachin’!”Ā šĀ I love that he didn’t think that would be the least bit out of the ordinary.
Anyway, I thought I would share my notes with you. I don’t plan to read it verbatim, but I typed out my thoughts just in case I freeze up on the stage.Ā :p
—
I thought it would help if I introduced myself, to start. I am a writer ā technical writing for work and creative writing (in my free time, ha) to keep my sanity. Iām raising 5 boys ā currently solo, b/c my husband is deployed to Iraq until next spring, but I have a great support system here at Crossroads and with family and other friends nearby. Our unique family dynamic is due to the fact that I lost my little brother (who was a single dad) just over a year ago, and although I miss him every single day, I am learning to move forward with the life that God has given me to live.
Weāve been in the situation where we lived paycheck-to-almost-another-paycheck. I could spend the rest of the afternoon telling you all the tangible ways that God has blessed us. Am I thankful for a better job, bigger house & so on? Absolutely, but I donāt want that to be the focus. I get frustrated when I hear people (including talking heads from the pulpit) insinuate that if God REALLY loves you ā¦ if you are REALLY following the Lord as you should, then heās going to bless you financially. I could rant all afternoon about that, too, but the point is: Because of Easter, we have enough ā¦ period. Period!
Paul ā one of the most sold-out Christians of all time ā wrote the letter of Philippians from prison. In Chapter 4, he says, āI know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.ā And what is that secret? He goes on to say: āI can do everything through him who gives me strength.ā
In the car recently, my youngest caught a word of a song on the radio and asked me, āWhat does ācircumstanceā mean?ā I explained that it means the stuff that is happening in your life ā whatās going on right now around you. I told him that the song says we need to remember to thank God even when our circumstances ā whatever is happening in our lives, make us feel sad or mad.
As I tried to explain this big word to two inquisitive preschoolers, I thought about I Thessalonians 5:18 (another one of Paulās letters), where it says to āgive thanks in all circumstances, for this is Godās will for you in Christ Jesus.ā
Man, thatās easier said than done sometimes, isnāt it? Sometimes, life is all sunshine & pretty little Easter bonnets, and things are tootling along just fine (*hold up hollowed decorated Easter egg). But then, what about the times when the dark clouds roll in, and our happy little world crumbles to pieces? (*smash egg in hands and pick out pieces)
- What about when your marriage crumbles?
- What about when the oncologist asks you to come back in for another biopsy?
- What about the pregnancy test that is negative ā¦ again?
- What about the pregnancy test that is positive?!
- What about when you lose a loved one?
- What about the days ā¦ weeks ā¦ years?!? ā¦ when life is plain hard and just doesnāt make sense?
The Bible tells us in Hebrews (13:8) that Christ is the same today as he was yesterday and no different from how heāll be tomorrow. If that is true (and I believe it is), then doesnāt it stand to reason that even our tragedies somehow ā in ways we may never understand ā fit into Godās bigger plan for our lives ā¦ for othersā lives ā¦ for the world? Itās difficult when weāre so close to a situation and the pain is so raw to be able to see how it might fit into the big picture of Godās will.
I will never know why God saved my brother once from a very serious car accident two days before my wedding [What a nightmare that was!] yet let him die in a different type of accident a decade later. However, I do know that God can (and has ā¦ and will ā¦) use the situation to his glory.
If Iāve learned anything through the suffering that I have experienced in my life, it is that I exist for Godās pleasure, not the other way around. God is not a magic genie who grants wishes and assures me a life of luxury. If I canāt praise God when Iām broken and weary, then what good is my worship of him when life is swell and I feel on top of the world? Wouldnāt that just be lip service? It sure wouldnāt be authentic.
Revelation 21:4. It is promises like this that I cling to on dark days. When I have days that I donāt feel like praising God at all and just want to have a pity party, I have to willfully praise God in the midst of my troubles. God is who he is, regardless of how I am feeling at the moment; therefore, he is always worthy of my praise.
Because of Easter ā¦ it doesnāt have to make sense to me right now.
Our stories arenāt finished yet. Day after day, we write more of that story. I just have to trust that the same God who loved me and led me on Jan. 22, 2009, did not change during the dark hours of Jan. 23 and the numb days that followed, hasnāt changed during the time that Lane has been away from home and will be the same God who loves and leads me tomorrow and the day after that.
Easter is a glorious story of Godās intervention and his salvation plan for our lives. It is certainly a time of celebration and remembrance of Godās unconditional love for us. However, the very reason why we have Easter ā¦ the reason Jesus needed to come, in the first place ā¦ is because we are broken in our sin. Easter is for the broken. (*hold up crumbled egg shell)
Because of Easter, we have the hope of eternal life with Christ.
What an amazing, brain-boggling concept, when you really think about it! The Bible even says in Romans Chapter 8 that to be apart from the body is to be alive with Christ. It describes our lives as grass, which grows and dies with the seasons. Our season here on Earth is limited, but we have been given a promise that life doesnāt end with our last breath.
There are still going to be days when I want to wallow a while in self-pity ā when I miss my brother so desperately that it hurts down to my bones ā¦ or when the boys are driving me crazy and I wish Lane could be home to help. I never dreamed that my family unit would look quite like this. Because of Easter, though, I donāt have to have all the answers ā¦ I donāt have to have it all together ā¦ because of Easter, I already have enough.
—
So, dear friends, how would you finish that statement? “Because of Easter …”
Easter Saturday
I heard one of my favorite authors, Max Lucado, speak on K-LOVE radio this week. He talked about the Saturday of Easter. We hear a lot about Friday, of course, because Jesus’ death is such a crucial part of the story. And, naturally, we hear a lot about Sunday – who could overlook the resurrection?! Oftentimes, however, we just glaze over the Saturday in between.
Pastor Lucado reminded us that the disciples had scattered and were in hiding. They knew what they thought they believed about Jesus, yet his death sent them reeling. He related that “Saturday” experience to the times in our lives when we’ve been stunned, inundated and overwhelmed by our circumstances. Trials can feel suffocating, at times. We may want to bury our faces in our hands and pretend like whatever tragic situation just happened – didn’t happen.
I don’t know about you, but that coping mechanism hasn’t worked out too well for me. Pastor Lucado finished his message with a reminder that although Saturday is tough, Sunday is just a few hours away.
Easter – our promise – our hope – is only a few hours away.
What would Jesus tweet?
I have a friend at work who is not into social media … at ALL. We tease her about all the fun things she’s missing on Facebook, especially, but I like to pick on her about Twitter, too.
Today, I forwarded an article to her about a couple who plans to exchange their wedding vows on Twitter. We had a playfulĀ banter in our office about whether social media is here to stay and whether Jesus would have “tweeted” back in his day.
Not to wax theological, but yeah, I think he would have. He was all about grassroots efforts & engaging everyday people.
Perhaps a sample Twitter conversation would go something like this:
@JC: Free lunch on the Mount of Olives today; hope you like fish!
@Peter: Lord, I hope we donāt run out of food! RT @JC: Free lunch on the Mount of Olives today; hope you like fish!
@JC: Oh, @Peter ā such little faith you have.
faith, sweat & tears 