When you need an ugly cry (Prayer Devotional for the week of January 19, 2014)

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Have you ever experienced an ugly cry? I don’t mean the kind of crying you do because you hit your thumb with a hammer or the dog ate your favorite shoes. I’m talking about the raw, vulnerable kind that leaves your ribs aching because even after the tears stop flowing, your lungs keep heaving. The kind of weeping that makes your nose runny and your eyes puffy.

It ain’t pretty, but sometimes it’s necessary.

Sometimes, the way to begin healing the broken pieces is to acknowledge the ugliness. I find it interesting how, in Matthew 5, Jesus’ blessing to those who are humble comes right after his blessing to those who mourn (verses 4-5). There is a sense of humility when you experience loss. Life keeps marching on, while a piece of your heart is left behind, buried. That’s humbling. When we come face-to-face with the reality that we are incapable of controlling the world around us, it’s humbling.

The good news, friends, is that when those wretched moments hit, God doesn’t want to leave us in a state of despair. Jesus said that he would comfort us when we mourn. I like the way The Message goes on to explain in v. 5 about being humble: “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

I know what it’s like when the very air around you feels suffocating, and hope seems to have wandered far away. Yet, I also know what God’s inexplicable peace feels like, and I encourage you to not lose sight of hope. Trust and rest in his promises.

But, what about …? (Prayer Devotional for the week of January 12, 2014)

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I’ve shared before about a bully in my elementary school who ruthlessly taunted a good friend of mine because she was poor and wore hand-me-down clothes. Between that situation and my own hurtful childhood memories of being called “four-eyes,” I have developed a very low tolerance for teasing. Jesting about your own goof-ups is one thing, but boosting your ego at someone else’s expense is unnecessary and mean. I don’t put up with it from my kids, and I sure don’t appreciate grown-ups stooping to such petty behavior. *Steps off soapbox

The point is, no one likes to be made a spectacle. I can’t think of any situation where it feels good to have my shortcomings highlighted or to publicize my self-doubts. (I have plenty; I just don’t want the world to know about them.) Leave it to God, though, to turn the tables around and make our insecurities something to be valued!

Check out what Jesus said in Matthew 5. He put a spotlight on our spiritual poverty, our grief, our need to be nourished and nurtured … all of the gunk that hinders us from seeing our potential and the hurt that chips away our confidence, and he called it blessed. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes need a reminder that God can use the messy parts of my life, just as much as he can use the pieces that are (in my mind, at least) going smoothly.

But, what about this dusty piece in the corner? Yep, that piece. But, what about that broken section that I’ve tried to glue together, but it keeps breaking? Yes, that one also. But, what about that part I buried years ago, because I’m ashamed to bring to light? Yes, even that part.

God can use our messed up lives, when we turn them over to him. It doesn’t really matter if the whole world points and laughs, because where we stand before God is far more important than the approval of others (and I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older: the odds are good that the people who sneer are probably struggling with insecurities of their own).