It is Autumn, 2025. The “little” ones have just turned 20, and we are gathered around a crowded dining room table celebrating and reminiscing during Fall Break. They are sophomores in college. Big brother No. 3 is a senior at the university, and Nos. 1 & 2 have taken a long weekend from their respective jobs to come home for the party.

No. 4 pops open a DrPepper while No. 5 digs into the chips and salsa. “Hey, remember how Mom and Dad never let us have caffeine during the week?” No. 5 asks no one in particular. “Yeah,” No. 4 says, “they always said it made us bounce off the wall.”

I chuckle and add, “You boys never needed anything to help you in the rowdiness category!”

“Hey [No. 4],” No. 5 muses, “Remember that time that you and I followed [No. 1] as he rode his bike to Nana and Granddad’s house? Dude! No one even heard us leave the house.”

No. 4 pipes up, “Yeah, Mom sure didn’t think it was funny when she discovered we were missing! We snuck out the front door while [No. 1] went out the back to get his bike. Man, I can’t believe we pulled a stunt like that – barefoot, even! We got totally lost a couple of blocks away. It’s a good thing Granddad found us before Mom did, or she surely would’ve tarred our hides.”

“Speaking of getting in trouble,” No. 5 notes, “remember how you used to constantly wet your pants? Man, that was gross. Our bathroom smelled like a locker room, [No. 4] . And when you hid your dirty clothes in your dresser? Dude, that was just nasty. I don’t know what got into you.”

No. 4 shrugs, “Me neither. I feel bad about that. Sorry, Mom.”

I give a half smile and ruffle his thick, short hair. “I love you, guys.”

No. 3 cuts in, “Man, what was our deal? I remember getting in SO much trouble for saying ‘buttcrack’ all the time. I guess I thought it was funny. That first time Mom brushed my teeth with soap, though – blech! – that was awful.”

Everyone laughs in unison, “Yeah, that was pretty nasty stuff. Glad you learned that lesson the hard way for us, [No. 3]!”

“Mom, do we have any more chips?” No. 5 interrupts.

I shake my head as I notice the empty bowl. “You boys never stop eating, do you?!”

No. 4 laughs, “Nope – we’re growing boys, remember?” as he places his elbow on my shoulder. I look up at him and smile: “I remember when your Daddy used to do that. He always called me his little-big sister.”

“Remember when we had those plastic snack boxes with our names written in masking tape?” No. 1 asks. “For some reason, Nos. 4 & 5’s were always empty faster than anyone else’s! My room was near the kitchen, and I swear I never heard them sneaking into the cabinets. I don’t know how they did it.”

Nos. 4 & 5 exchange a glance. “Well,” No. 4 admits, “I used to eat one snack while everyone else was getting ready, then when Mom or Dad said we could get a snack from our box before school, I’d go back over there and get another one.”

“Yeah, we thought we were sneaky, but it stunk when Mom wouldn’t buy any more until the others were out,” No. 5 confesses. “We thought we were getting more, but then we had to wait a few days with empty boxes while everyone else still got snacks.”

“Remember that awesome bunkbed I had?” No. 2 asks the group. “I loved it, but man, it was so tempting to do pull-ups on the safety bar, and Mom got so aggravated when I would reach over to the ceiling fan from the top bunk. Now I know why she always called us ‘monkey boys!'”

I run my fingers through my cropped, gray hair and quip, “Yep, I earned every one of these gray hairs because of you boys!”

They laugh, “Aww, Mom!”