I’ve decided to apply to graduate school to pursue my doctorate degree. It wasn’t something I decided to do on a whim; rather, I’ve been considering it for quite some time. At first, I only told a few people, but now that the application is well underway, I figured there was no sense keeping it a secret. Most of the response has been encouraging, if not astonished. Some have questioned my sanity, taking on such an endeavor at this stage of my life.

I suppose it does sound a little crazy, taking into account everything that is on my plate these days. Honestly, though, I thrive on having something productive to do with my mind. It’s why I write. I got out of the tv habit a few years ago, and while I still enjoy some shows, I catch up on most things after-the-fact on Netflix nowadays.

Some people think I’m out of my mind for going back to school while Lane is away and I have solo responsibility for the boys, but Lane was also deployed &/or on active duty – living hours away in another city on weekdays – during many months of my master’s degree work. Studying is my equivalent of tv time, I guess you could say. Yes, I’m a geek, but I truly do enjoy learning. I like having something that I need to focus on in the evenings; it keeps me from fretting and letting my imagination wander into what-ifs that I don’t need to be imagining.

Besides all that, I’m excited about what possibilities lie ahead once I finish my doctorate. I’m not necessarily thinking of a career shift, but I could teach, if I wanted to, or be eligible for advancement into other administrative/executive positions at the university.

It’s never going to be easier, quite frankly. If I wait until the kids are older, then they won’t be going to bed at 8 or 9pm, and my evenings won’t be as quiet as they are now (it seems funny to say that my evenings are quiet … it’s really just a few hours between their bedtime and my own, but it is still a much-appreciated time of solitude!).

Anyway, I don’t think I’m crazy. I think I’m ambitious, sure, but I also think that I know my limits, and there’s no rush to finish the degree at break-neck speed. If I can only handle one class at a time, so be it. I’ll gladly take the tortoise’s route instead of the hare’s. The end justifies the means, does it not?