Does it ever seem like the seasons of life when we need close relationships the most, friendships are the hardest to cultivate? Think about being a kid: you make friends in elementary school, and then right when you hit the nervous, hormonal, tweenage years – wham! – you enter junior high, with brand new faces, extra homework, and no more recess. Making friends becomes a little more difficult.

Later, as a young, single adult, it is relatively easy to find time to hang out with friends or go out and make new ones, but then Life hits, and you get married and have kids of your own. Suddenly, getting adequate sleep takes priority over having a social life. We can begin to lose our own identity during this phase, because we are exerting all of our energy on everyone else but ourselves.

Fast forward to retirement (oh, to dream!). You now have freedom to visit the grandkids, travel with your spouse and enjoy downtime, for a change. All too soon, however, the years keep trucking on by, and you find yourself wondering where the time went. The kids and grandkids – who are spinning their wheels in the earlier phases – are too busy/tired/broke to come visit, and you find yourself alone, again.

If we aren’t purposeful in cultivating relationships during each of these seasons of life, even when – especially when! – it is difficult to do so, then we can feel disconnected. That’s where the church body becomes so important. I love the way several of the New Testament letters are addressed: “Dear Friends,” because it shows that the church family is closely connected. That level of cohesiveness doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time and effort to cultivate relationships with others.

For example, John signs off one of his brief notes with this comment: “I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name” (3 John 1:14, NIV). The early church knew each other personally, by name. Do we?

Don’t wait for people to come find you; take the initiative to meet some new faces at church this week. Get to know the faces you do recognize a little bit better. If you aren’t involved in a Life group, what is keeping you? Building relationships is a two-way effort, so take the first step!