I startled myself awake at 4-something a.m. from a very realistic dream where I was off-roading down an embankment. I know the intersection where the dream happened, though it didn’t look exactly the same in my nightmare. In the dream, I was driving at night and took the exit ramp. I even remember seeing the Exit sign with road names and arrows. Once I exited, however, my windshield clouded over like a combination of torrential rain and fog.

What little glimpses I could see of the road reflectors had turned red instead of yellow, which made me think that somehow I was going the wrong direction. I tried putting my foot on the brake and pulling over, but then I had the sensation that my seat suddenly reclined, and I could no longer even see out the windshield. I kept trying to brake and could tell that I had driven off the asphalt onto grass and rocks. The car was careening downhill and didn’t seem to be stopping. I wanted to scream, but no sound would come out of my mouth, and my throat felt terribly dry.

When I finally jerked my eyes open, my voice was rasping, “Help,” and my foot was pressing into the mattress. (I guess I was “braking.”) My throat was parched, so I got up to sip some water and then tried to doze again for a little while longer until my alarm went off. What a freaky, unpleasant way to start the day.

I mentioned bits of the dream to a friend at work, and she suggested that maybe I feel out of control lately, which is not untrue. I’ve felt out of control for years, but this past year has definitely been challenging, in that regard. Perhaps God is trying to remind me to “live by faith and not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7, CEB). If I had my druthers, though, I’d prefer that he write messages in the clouds than tell me via nightmares. 🙂