There are no kid-brags or spiritual insights on this post; I just need to whine.

I hurt.

My knees hurt; my wrists and hands hurt; my feet hurt. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I stand still in my office for a few seconds or walk in place for a few paces before I venture down the hall because I don’t want people to notice me limping. It’s not the same type of limping that I remember post-knee-surgery a couple of summers ago. This is the type of slow, crickety walk where everything hurts and you just want to get from Point A to Point B without drawing attention to yourself.

It’s very frustrating. And embarrassing. But mostly frustrating. It’s embarrassing because I know that I’ve gained back a lot of the weight that I lost two years ago, but it’s frustrating because these aches and pains can’t just be weight-related. It’s frustrating because it’s gotten to the point where I pick and choose what routes to take in the office building to avoid stairs and which chairs to sit in that won’t hurt too much when I try to stand back up (and that won’t be too obvious as I try to discretely help push myself up with my arms, since my knees hurt like *#$)!_|{;@.

Arthritis runs rampant in my family, so I went to my doc a few weeks ago, and after a barrage of questions, poking & prodding and some blood work, she wants me to see a rheumatologist to figure out why I’m experiencing such painful arthritis-like symptoms that I’m still rather young to be having. (<<That’s nice to hear!) The actual rheumatoid factor screening came back negative, so that’s encouraging. However, there’s another test called the sed rate, which isn’t diagnostic in and of itself, but it is indicative of inflammation in the body somewhere. That one came back higher than she liked, hence the referral to the rheumatologist. Unfortunately, there’s only one in my city, so I can’t get in until January.

In the meantime, I’m feeling like a crotchety woman twice my age.