Dear January [yet again],

Dear January,

This is my third year of letters to you. You and I haven’t been on good terms for seven years, but I think the truce that we worked out last year is going ok so far, at least until my Facebook newsfeed blows up later in the month. (Facebook has a new thing now where it reminds you of posts that you wrote in years past, so I think I’ll take a hiatus toward the end of the month. I still remember the post that I wrote quickly on Jan. 23, 2009, asking for urgent prayer because something awful had happened to my brother, but I didn’t know what. I really don’t want to relive the posts from the days and weeks that followed that night.)

The 23rd falls on a Saturday this year, and I’m contemplating getting a sitter for the kids and going away for the weekend — just me, myself, and I. A little solitude might be nice.

This year holds a lot of promise, and I’m going to focus on being optimistic about the future. I’ll be finishing my second year as a professor, and I’m loving my job. Two of my kids are in high school now, the middle is in junior high, and this year is our last round of elementary school. When the fall semester begins, I’ll only have to deal with TWO school schedules!

I still imagine sometimes what life would look like if Nathan was here. Most likely, I would still feel stressed about being outnumbered raising three boys and have no clue about how capable I really am. I suppose I have that to be grateful for. Without the trials, I wouldn’t know how strong I could be. I would give anything to have him back, but life manages to go on, and so do I.

January, I feel like I have more confidence facing you this year than I have in several years. You don’t intimidate me like you used to, because I’ve proven to myself that I can make it through, and in just a few weeks, you’ll be gone and February will arrive in your place.

Till next year,


4 thoughts on “Dear January [yet again],

  1. Beautifully said… are an amazing and strong woman, you told this stressful month just where to go!! 😊 My heart also wonders how life would be if Jeremy’s dad were still here, and after almost 17 years, there are no answers, just thoughts of missed graduations, weddings, and births….and now I am dealing with my 83 year old mother in law, who has lost both of her adult children and remains to deal with life without them, and her changing health situation. I am not so sure I could go on if in her shoes, but she continues to amaze me as she deals with change after change……maybe it is that strong German stock……Angela, you are an inspiration to all, showing that when you are outnumbered, pick up the Nerf gun and start shooting!! (A mother with boys will totally understand this)😃. Wishing you peace and contentment in this new year……love you bunches!! paula

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