I had a dental checkup this morning; we’ve been going to the same place for the past five or six years, and I love the whole staff. The boys actually LIKE going to the dentist! You can’t get a much better recommendation than five kids who enjoy dental visits.

I have only had two cavities in my life, that I can recall, but I admit to being an awful flosser. I just don’t like doing it; it makes me gag and hurts my gums. I have been blessed with healthy teeth and gums, though, because my hygienist praises my “home care” at every checkup.

This morning was particularly funny (to me, at least). I confessed to her, yet again, that I still don’t floss, and she quipped, “Well, God must’ve known that you wouldn’t have time to, because he blessed you with healthy gums, anyway!” It made me laugh in that gargly way that you do with a mirror on a stick in your mouth. Later on, she held up the floss twirled around her fingers and said, “This is floss. You’re going to get it twice a year, whether you like it or not.” LOL! I love her sense of humor.

Also, I joked with No. 3 before I left this morning that I thought it was unfair that grownups don’t get a treasure box prize when they go to the dentist, and he huffed and said, “Well, they should!” I told the hygienist, and guess what – I got a lovely plastic ring to model for him when I get home.

I’m supposed to be reading this unit’s assignment on the Enlightenment, but I overheard something funny in the other room and thought I’d share it with you. The big two are with grandparents right now, and the little three are watching a kids’ show on Netflix/Wii in the living room.

No. 4 accidentally sat on the Wii remote, which stopped the video. No. 3 tattled to Dad that he “broke the movie,” and Dad called back, “Well, then, fix it.” No. 4 whined that he didn’t do it, and you can fill in the back-and-forth heated exchange for the next few seconds between No. 3 & No. 4.

Just when I thought Dad was going to intervene and break it up, No. 5 cut in and said, “Guys, you’re ‘upposed to click the mouse on the arrow there.” Sure enough, I heard the click of the Wii remote (it has a cursor like a mouse) and the video started back up again.

It is premature to make too many comparisons to the reading, since I’ve just begun, but from what I understand thus far, the Enlightenment is about coming to one’s own conclusions and not relying on others’ instructions. When left to their own devices (within reason, of course), the kids can often work out a solution. Sometimes I think Dad doesn’t intervene quickly enough, but perhaps I  intervene too often.

Thanks for the prayers, friends. My whinefest (not winefest, lol) earlier this week reminded me of Lion from the Sweet Pickles books. I used to love that series! We have a few of them still; I should read one to the boys tonight. At any rate, thanks for bearing with me on a down day.

Yesterday was better – I had lunch with a new friend and had the opportunity to speak to a large group (200-300? I’m not a good judge of crowd counts) of colleagues, which is always exhilarating and fun. I got a sweet email from a friend while I was up on stage (which I read after the program, obviously, but it still made my day!) saying how “small” I looked. LOL – I haven’t been called “small” since … ??? … ever?  😀

I really do love my job, and I want to be excellent at it. I think that I’m pretty good at it, and I know there’s always room for improvement, but there’s just a lot of unspoken pressure on everyone right now. Having a brief moment in the spotlight (literally – I couldn’t see beyond the midpoint of the auditorium!) and receiving verbal praise from colleagues and higher-ups was a much needed boost for me this week. Can you tell that my primary love language is words of affirmation?

Today, I had lunch with another new friend, so my emotional bank of girlfriend time has a healthy balance in it now. It was especially reassuring to hear tales of her 1st grader – who, like ours, also jokes about bodily functions and has a skewed concept of appropriate descriptive words.  😉

All things considered, the stressors are still there, but having a less grumpy attitude makes it seem more bearable.

I’m normally a pretty good juggler – no, not with balls or bowling pins or knives in the air – I mean multi-tasking. Having several things on my plate usually isn’t a big deal. I enjoy staying busy; I like challenges; and, I get bored easily. (I learned rather quickly several years ago that data entry was not my calling in life. I was very good at it but bored out of my gourd.)

However, there are times when the metaphorical balls, pins and knives get tossed into the routine all at once, and I’ve got to keep them all in the air. Right now feels like one of those times. I hesitate to even mention it, because people are always making well-meant comments to me about how they can’t believe all that I have on my plate or how amazed they are that I handle everything the way I do. I appreciate the kudos, but just because I manage it well most of the time does not mean that I never struggle. On the flip side, just because I occasionally struggle with the complexity of my responsibilities does not mean that I shouldn’t have pursued grad school, etc. – basically, to give into the notion that I’m doing too much.

There are sundry reasons why I love my job and an even longer list of the blessings that our family gains from my working at the university. From swimming pool access to retirement contributions, the benefits are very generous. However, when I’m the only one in the household working and the atmosphere at work feels like a daily job interview, there’s tremendous pressure on me (perhaps partly self-imposed, but pressure, just the same):

Suck it up, Self … Do a good job. Do a better job than you’ve ever done before – never mind that foundation & corporate philanthropy is still in the toilet. Don’t lose your job! Set a positive example for your team. Don’t get discouraged. Be a leader. Be a “level 5” leader.

No pressure, Self … it’s not like you have five children to put through college, your job provides tuition remission for them, and everyone is expecting you to take care of that minute, little detail of their young adult lives. It’s only another – what, 17 years? – to keep on keeping on. Never mind the fact that you are at an impasse within this particular career maze, so any advancement would mean retraining, cross-training, transitioning to the faculty side of the house or moving/relocating. Transitioning to the faculty isn’t an option until you finish your doctorate, so here’s hoping you can keep your job for another three years, at least.

For the sake of my team and for the benefit of my division, I’m trying to have a positive outlook. (There are enough naysayers out there who don’t have the tact to keep quiet in public … then again, one could argue that this blog is public … my stats would beg to differ, but whatever … I’ll gladly discuss my thoughts in a professional and polite manner with anyone who desires an explanation.) I can’t create grant awards out of thin air (yet this certainly isn’t the environment to make “excuses,” regardless of how market-driven and data-validated those reasons may be), but we’re busting tail to research new prospects and streamline our systems to give us the best advantage possible.

Meanwhile, there’s a guy standing against the wall with an apple balanced haphazardly on his head, and I’m tempted to unload some of my juggling burden with a little knife-throwing target practice (facetiously speaking, of course).

Pray for me, friends.