Pain & Promises (Prayer Devotional for the week of January 26, 2014)

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Well-meaning people often tell naïve, new mothers-to-be that after the baby is born, you don’t even remember the pain, because you are so joyful. Those people lie. You do remember the pain.

Is the end result worth it? Absolutely; don’t get me wrong. Seeing that baby’s scrunchy little face and hearing that first cry is worth every bottom-lip-biting, cuss-stifling, abs-ripping hour that preceded it. Childbirth is something truly amazing to experience and witness. However, the joy of birth doesn’t mean that the pain never happened. It doesn’t mean that pain won’t still come.

It’s unfortunate that we can send a similarly messed-up message to the world about Christianity as these new moms are hearing about labor & delivery. John 16:33 (NIV) reminds us: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God doesn’t promise health, wealth and fame. What he does promise – among other awesome guarantees, like his never-ending love and saving grace – is that he’ll never abandon us to deal with life alone (Hebrews 13:5-6).

In our study of Matthew 5 these past few weeks, we’ve seen time and again how those who stay committed to God through hard times are blessed. I think that sometimes when we (or perhaps it’s just me?) are on a high place, spiritually speaking, we tend to conveniently forget the difficulties that led us there. We don’t want to think about encountering any obstacles on the way down the mountain, either. We just want to think about the happy-go-lucky time that we’re having, in the moment. I like the way The Message paraphrases v. 8: “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.”

When we acknowledge the difficult & painful times but continue to trust God during them, then perhaps we’ll be better poised to appreciate the joyful times even more. Labor may feel unending while it is happening, but eventually there is a blessing to be held. Likewise, our trials may feel overwhelming at the time, but God can bring you out of it even stronger on the other side.

What else to study

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I learned recently that our local technical college offers enology & viticulture certificates (as well as associates degrees, but that’s kinda beside the point, at this stage). Enology is the study of the winemaking industry, in general, and viticulture is specific to grape-growing. How interesting would that be?? I may be at risk of becoming a professional student, but either of those programs sounds like a much more fun way to spend my post-doc “free time” than catching up on four years’ worth of tv shows. 🙂

2014-01-23 19.30.32-3

Dissertation notes & a few minutes of quiet time while practicing my vinter skills 😉

Besides, I could consider it an investment in my retirement years … one of these days! 😉 Ah, just imagine: a quiet home in the country with acres of grapevines, winemaking equipment, and my own cellar to host friends and enjoy the fruits of my labor. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Alas, I’m no where near retiring yet. I still need to finish my dissertation, and then I hope that I’m on the cusp of a new direction in my career — meaning that I’ll be able to move into a faculty position in the not-too-distant future (hopefully by the fall semester).

As for the dissertation, I’m making progress on Ch. 4, and I intend to have a pretty solid draft before the end of the month. I’ve already got an outline of Ch. 5 in the works, so I’m cautiously optimistic that I’ll be able to defend in mid-March as I have been hoping to. Cheers to that!

5 years

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Ang and Nathan on benchFive years seems like it should sweep in with some sort of fanfare, but it feels like just another day. I mentioned before that I’m on a journey to reclaim January by making a concerted effort not to let this month defeat me. For the past four Januaries, I’ve slumped into a pity party, and I’m trying hard not to do that again this year.Ang and Nathan by Christmas tree

Still, I do feel reminiscent during this month, especially leading up to today. I miss my brother like crazy, each and every day.

There are plenty of things that make me feel sad, but if I concentrate, there are even more things that make me feel happy … and better than happy, but also joyful and certainly grateful:

  • I got to know him for 30 years plus a few months, and we became good friends.
  • We were baptized on the same day, and I remember it fondly.
  • I will get to see him again some day and never ever have to say goodbye. Hallelujah!
  • Nathan selfieI get to see his smirk,
    • his demeanor,
    • his mannerisms,
    • his smart*ss attitude (LOL), and
    • his facial expressions in his sons every day.
  • I had my personal IT support hotline for years! 🙂
  • I got to meet the love of his life, and I’m doubly blessed that we remain “sisters-in-love” all these years later.
  • I got to receive more bear hugs than I can count.
  • I always knew that he had my back, even when we disagreed.

2014 Word

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I’ve finally figured out what my word is for this year: Set.

As in: On your mark, get set … go!

I don’t quite know what the “go” part looks like yet, but the past few years have been building up from “on your mark,” and now I feel like it’s time to “get set” and wait for the launch whistle.

dolphin kickI remember years of swim meets — my main race was backstroke — and hearing the announcer call out: “On your mark!” We would pull up into a loose crunch position on the board. “Get set!” and we’d pull up tighter and hold, legs quivering in anticipation to launch. “Go!” then thrust up and backward into the water, hands entering first, then head and arced body already rippling in a dolphin-kick motion. I would go about halfway down the length of the pool underwater before I came up for air. A few strokes later, it was almost time for the flip-turn. Count strokes from the flags overhead, then flip and twist, kick off from the wall and launch back toward the other side.

Competitive swimming was exhilarating and challenging … kind of like how my life has been for the past several years, now that I think about it. The loses were tough. Miscounting strokes and charging head- or shoulder-first into the wall was really painful. And yet, touching the finish line a fraction of a second before any of the others is a rush like nothing else I can describe. Knowing that you gave it your all … and you won … is amazing.

This year has a lot of potential. Lord willing, I will finish my doctorate in just a few short months. It’s possible that I may also have a new job opportunity(ies) later this year, but that remains to be seen. The majority of my kids (3/5) will be finished with elementary school this year. I’ll have TWO teenagers. I’m renewing my efforts to lose weight and stay healthy. Who knows what else the future holds? Whatever comes down the pike, I’m going to “get set” and be ready to fly.