Five years seems like it should sweep in with some sort of fanfare, but it feels like just another day. I mentioned before that I’m on a journey to reclaim January by making a concerted effort not to let this month defeat me. For the past four Januaries, I’ve slumped into a pity party, and I’m trying hard not to do that again this year.

Still, I do feel reminiscent during this month, especially leading up to today. I miss my brother like crazy, each and every day.

There are plenty of things that make me feel sad, but if I concentrate, there are even more things that make me feel happy … and better than happy, but also joyful and certainly grateful:

• I got to know him for 30 years plus a few months, and we became good friends.
• We were baptized on the same day, and I remember it fondly.
• I will get to see him again some day and never ever have to say goodbye. Hallelujah!

• I get to see his smirk,
  • his demeanor,
  • his mannerisms,
  • his smart*ss attitude (LOL), and
  • his facial expressions in his sons every day.
• I had my personal IT support hotline for years! 🙂
• I got to meet the love of his life, and I’m doubly blessed that we remain “sisters-in-love” all these years later.
• I got to receive more bear hugs than I can count.
• I always knew that he had my back, even when we disagreed.